I used to not like myself. Now I do, but I’m still scared that others won’t. I have so much love to give and I’m wondering if I will ever find a man to fall in love with, and who will fall in love with me just as much.What can I do to not get disappointed, cheated on and lied to again? When these things happened to me, I was naive. Now I think I’m too careful and worry that I’m scaring off the good men. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but most of all I’m scared to get hurt again. Then again the loneliness hurts so much more. I simply don’t know where to start or what to do.
You are not going to be able to live in this world and avoid pain. In love or otherwise, pain is always a possibility and it’s not necessarily the worst thing that can happen. And it will be pain that ultimately forces you to get back out there and love again, have been devastated in love. And I have tried to amputate this part of my nature, but it’s not working. It’s not. I’m in more pain than ever and I have to get comfortable with this… and yes.
I look for my own powerful love. Whatever these men did to me, they could only hurt me as badly as they did because of my own depth. Would a superficial person have been as devastated as I was? Hell no. I got hurt because of my ability to love intensely, which is my gift as well as my curse. And it’s a piece of me, a part of me that I cannot tear off, so please…
I try to embrace this part of me that wants and needs to connect deeply with another person. This is the love i have to give and need to share, even it hurts. Know why? It’s because this is who I am.
Would I rather be some flip little chick, one inch thick? Well, would I? I don’t think so.
Personally, I love to the bone. I love until my heart hurts inside my chest. And that pain is beautiful, can you see that? I will keep looking until I can. And then go out there with my awesome love and find myself someone who wants nothing less than what I am offering. Because people like that exist, ALLAH promises us that.