May 10, 2006

Ola Yang Malas Mandi


Di pinggir sebuah kampung di seberang negeri, tinggallah sepasang badak sumbu yang hidup bahagia. Si bapa bernama Hip dan si ibu pula bernama Ipo. Mereka mempunyai seekor anak bernama Ola.

Ola mempunyai satu tabiat buruk iaitu malas mandi. Setiap hari, selepas bangun tidur, Ola akan terus bermain dengan kawan-kawannya sehinggalah waktu menjelang matahari terbenam iaitu tatkala dia terasa lapar, barulah Ola akan pulang ke kandangnya untuk makan.

Ipo sudah banyak kali menasihatkan Ola agar menjaga kebersihan dirinya, tetapi Ola masih juga berkeras hati dan meneruskan sikap angkuhnya. Sikap Ola yang degil dan tidak mahu menjaga kebersihan diri ini amat merisaukan hati ibunya.

Sehinggalah pada suatu hari, Ola telah diserang penyakit kulit yang teruk, menyebabkannya malu untuk keluar bermain bersama kawan-kawan. Kawan-kawan Ola pula semakin menjauhkan diri dan enggan bermain dengannya.

Selang beberapa minggu, Ola sembuh daripada penyakitnya itu tetapi malang masih terdapat parut yang kelihatan di seluruh badannya. Pada mulanya, Ola berasa begitu gembira kerana dirinya sudah boleh keluar bermain dengan kawan-kawan yang lain.

Tetapi dia berasa begitu terkejut dan sedih apabila semua kawan-kawannya enggan bermain dengannya serta memandang jijik setiap kali Ola cuba mendekati mereka. Ola terasa sungguh sedih dan kecil hati lalu pulang semula ke kandang menemui ibunya.

Ola menangis teresak-esak sambil menceritakan kepada ibunya yang kawan-kawannya enggan berkawan dengannya lagi. Ibunya yang memahami apa yang dialami oleh anaknya itu telah menasihati Ola supaya rajin menjaga kebersihan diri serta tidak mengabaikan mandi pagi.

Semenjak hari itu, Ola sentiasa menjaga kebersihan dirinya. Perubahan tersebut telah menyebab rakan-rakan Ola tidak malu atau takut untuk lagi untuk mendekati Ola. Parut-parut di badannya juga turut hilang.

Kini, barulah Ola tahu betapa pentingnya menjaga kebersihan dirinya.

May 06, 2006

Am I Abnormal?


You are at low risk for being a psychopath. It is unlikely that you have no soul. 

You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at medium risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is somewhat likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

April 25, 2006

Will I Ever LOVE Again?!

I used to not like myself. Now I do, but I’m still scared that others won’t. I have so much love to give and I’m wondering if I will ever find a man to fall in love with, and who will fall in love with me just as much.

What can I do to not get disappointed, cheated on and lied to again? When these things happened to me, I was naive. Now I think I’m too careful and worry that I’m scaring off the good men. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but most of all I’m scared to get hurt again. Then again the loneliness hurts so much more. I simply don’t know where to start or what to do.

You are not going to be able to live in this world and avoid pain. In love or otherwise, pain is always a possibility and it’s not necessarily the worst thing that can happen. And it will be pain that ultimately forces you to get back out there and love again, have been devastated in love. And I have tried to amputate this part of my nature, but it’s not working. It’s not. I’m in more pain than ever and I have to get comfortable with this… and yes.

I look for my own powerful love. Whatever these men did to me, they could only hurt me as badly as they did because of my own depth. Would a superficial person have been as devastated as I was? Hell no. I got hurt because of my ability to love intensely, which is my gift as well as my curse. And it’s a piece of me, a part of me that I cannot tear off, so please…

I try to embrace this part of me that wants and needs to connect deeply with another person. This is the love i have to give and need to share, even it hurts. Know why? It’s because this is who I am.

Would I rather be some flip little chick, one inch thick? Well, would I? I don’t think so.

Personally, I love to the bone. I love until my heart hurts inside my chest. And that pain is beautiful, can you see that? I will keep looking until I can. And then go out there with my awesome love and find myself someone who wants nothing less than what I am offering. Because people like that exist, ALLAH promises us that.

March 26, 2006

One of the hardest thing in one's life


One of the hardest thing is man’s life is trying to keep your space with someone you DO love because he/she doesn’t count on you more than a good friend anymore :(

This become more harder when you feel like you cannot go on and things start to be suffering.

I usually can overcome this kind of feelings!


But what would I gain?

March 20, 2006

Azalinya Setiap Wanita Sukakan Kecantikan


"Sesungguhnya Nabi Allah pernah menyampaikan sebuah khutbah yang panjang, lalu beliau menyebutkan urusan dunia dan akhirat, lalu menjelaskan bahwa sebab pertama kehancuran Bani Israil adalah adanya perempuan miskin yang memaksakan diri berpakaian sebagaimana yang dipakai perempuan kaya..." (HR. Ibnu Khuzaimah)

Yes, I agreed with this. How about you?

March 15, 2006

The Never Ending Q's

No power even to think, I rather sit somewhere and rest, I wish I could be able to find a way to get rid of these Never Ending Questions.

How many fall downs are enough for someone to change the way?
  • How many times should someone forgive?
  • What is the best way not to like others?
  • What is the best way to be able to hate?


  • Like I told before, people think I have an exciting and happy life, with lots of activities. It’s been a while that I’ve been in a hard challenge with myself to change things in a way that I want. All I want is a normal life. I don’t need others’ respect; I just want to feel happiness continuously, I don’t want to let “small people” to grab my happiness and fall me in a situation that I am currently in,

    But, the end of the story is clear, as far as I can’t find the answers to those questions, as far as I believe in giving chances to the others, as far as I am living with positives thoughts about others, I will not be able to change my situation. People will use, test, leave and forget!


    If I could change I would,
    To get the pain I would,
    To trace every wrong move that I made I would.
    If I could …

    March 05, 2006

    One year ago


    A year ago, this was the most happiest day in my life!

    Today? Yes, I am still happy :)

    Walaupun bermacam-macam yang datang (bertekak?maki hamun? tengking? melucah? erm semua tu memang berlaku setiap hari!) tapi ironinya kami tetap bersama!

    February 26, 2006

    Talk Rubbish Out Of My Head


    So many people have come in and out of my life. I have such a strong interest in people, but maybe it isn't enough. I feel like I have cheated so many people, because I either shortchanged them or didn't take that extra step to really get to know them. Maybe it is my inherent nature as a kononnya huu-haa person and also as a lone ranger in the other part of me or just my good Religion core, I don't know. There is a serious lack of clarity on this issue for me.

    I just don't want another person that has touched my life to die and me not have taken that time to know them. So much bullshit gets in the way of friendship and other kinds of relationships. People drift apart for stupid reasons and never talk to each other again. Then people die. Why?

    I once told a good friend of mine that my philosophy on spirituality was this. If God created man in his image, then God is man. If God is man, then I need to know as many people as possible to be closer to Him. That is the very core of my religion. People are important. I don't KNOW enough people. I am further from God than I need to be. In my philosophy I "save" people purely by knowing and understanding them, this is my evangelism. I am failing. It needs to be corrected.

    I am really happy that I have chosen to live in moderate more intently. I used to waste a lot of time worrying about what would happen if I didn't get a master degree. What would my future be like? But now I realize that tomorrow may not exist for me or anyone. I find comfort in the fact that I am doing what I want to with my life and I feel God put me on this earth to do. I just hope God and the Earth feel the same way.

    My motto, Life sucks, kick its ass!, really becomes harder to obtain when you realize how easily life can kick my ass. Please if you are out there, friends, and you read this don't hesitate to call me. I'll be calling you soon.

    February 16, 2006

    Happy Ending?

    Waktu Kau Di Sini
    Andai bintang
    Tak bersinar lagi malam ini
    Pasti mimpiku tidak seindah
    Waktu kau di sini
    Andai suria
    Tak bercahya menjemput pagiku
    Pasti hariku tidak secerah
    Waktu kau di sini
    Andai bintang
    Tak bersinar lagi malam ini
    Pasti mimpiku tidak seindah
    Waktu kau di sini
    Andai suria
    Tak bercahya menjemput pagiku
    Pasti hariku tidak secerah
    Waktu kau di sini
    Andai engkau
    Telah pergi dan tinggalkan aku
    Pasti hidupku tidak seperti
    Waktu kau di sini
    Andai bintang
    Dan suria
    Berhenti beredar
    Pasti hatiku tetap menanti
    Hadir kau di sini
    Currently I'm so into this song. It was beautifully written and composed by SOMEONE in my life. After going through so many obstacles together, is there any happy ending for us? Hopefully. Insya Allah.