May 10, 2006

Ola Yang Malas Mandi


Di pinggir sebuah kampung di seberang negeri, tinggallah sepasang badak sumbu yang hidup bahagia. Si bapa bernama Hip dan si ibu pula bernama Ipo. Mereka mempunyai seekor anak bernama Ola.

Ola mempunyai satu tabiat buruk iaitu malas mandi. Setiap hari, selepas bangun tidur, Ola akan terus bermain dengan kawan-kawannya sehinggalah waktu menjelang matahari terbenam iaitu tatkala dia terasa lapar, barulah Ola akan pulang ke kandangnya untuk makan.

Ipo sudah banyak kali menasihatkan Ola agar menjaga kebersihan dirinya, tetapi Ola masih juga berkeras hati dan meneruskan sikap angkuhnya. Sikap Ola yang degil dan tidak mahu menjaga kebersihan diri ini amat merisaukan hati ibunya.

Sehinggalah pada suatu hari, Ola telah diserang penyakit kulit yang teruk, menyebabkannya malu untuk keluar bermain bersama kawan-kawan. Kawan-kawan Ola pula semakin menjauhkan diri dan enggan bermain dengannya.

Selang beberapa minggu, Ola sembuh daripada penyakitnya itu tetapi malang masih terdapat parut yang kelihatan di seluruh badannya. Pada mulanya, Ola berasa begitu gembira kerana dirinya sudah boleh keluar bermain dengan kawan-kawan yang lain.

Tetapi dia berasa begitu terkejut dan sedih apabila semua kawan-kawannya enggan bermain dengannya serta memandang jijik setiap kali Ola cuba mendekati mereka. Ola terasa sungguh sedih dan kecil hati lalu pulang semula ke kandang menemui ibunya.

Ola menangis teresak-esak sambil menceritakan kepada ibunya yang kawan-kawannya enggan berkawan dengannya lagi. Ibunya yang memahami apa yang dialami oleh anaknya itu telah menasihati Ola supaya rajin menjaga kebersihan diri serta tidak mengabaikan mandi pagi.

Semenjak hari itu, Ola sentiasa menjaga kebersihan dirinya. Perubahan tersebut telah menyebab rakan-rakan Ola tidak malu atau takut untuk lagi untuk mendekati Ola. Parut-parut di badannya juga turut hilang.

Kini, barulah Ola tahu betapa pentingnya menjaga kebersihan dirinya.

May 06, 2006

Am I Abnormal?


You are at low risk for being a psychopath. It is unlikely that you have no soul. 

You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at medium risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is somewhat likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

April 25, 2006

Will I Ever LOVE Again?!

I used to not like myself. Now I do, but I’m still scared that others won’t. I have so much love to give and I’m wondering if I will ever find a man to fall in love with, and who will fall in love with me just as much.

What can I do to not get disappointed, cheated on and lied to again? When these things happened to me, I was naive. Now I think I’m too careful and worry that I’m scaring off the good men. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but most of all I’m scared to get hurt again. Then again the loneliness hurts so much more. I simply don’t know where to start or what to do.

You are not going to be able to live in this world and avoid pain. In love or otherwise, pain is always a possibility and it’s not necessarily the worst thing that can happen. And it will be pain that ultimately forces you to get back out there and love again, have been devastated in love. And I have tried to amputate this part of my nature, but it’s not working. It’s not. I’m in more pain than ever and I have to get comfortable with this… and yes.

I look for my own powerful love. Whatever these men did to me, they could only hurt me as badly as they did because of my own depth. Would a superficial person have been as devastated as I was? Hell no. I got hurt because of my ability to love intensely, which is my gift as well as my curse. And it’s a piece of me, a part of me that I cannot tear off, so please…

I try to embrace this part of me that wants and needs to connect deeply with another person. This is the love i have to give and need to share, even it hurts. Know why? It’s because this is who I am.

Would I rather be some flip little chick, one inch thick? Well, would I? I don’t think so.

Personally, I love to the bone. I love until my heart hurts inside my chest. And that pain is beautiful, can you see that? I will keep looking until I can. And then go out there with my awesome love and find myself someone who wants nothing less than what I am offering. Because people like that exist, ALLAH promises us that.